Dear Awkwardness,

You're really testing my sense of humor. You might call arranging for ldssingles online boy (that I actually liked, but stopped contacting me shortly after the first date) to move into my ward, show up at my house for ward prayer and start flirting with my roommates something of a multiple strike.  I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry or move out of the ward. Well, I guess I can't move out of the ward---You will not conquer me. I will conquer you. But do please tell me how that is done---conquering you and reversing your curse, I mean. Reply mail requested. Please? Please?

Anticipating your response,
Lexie

Dear Awkwardness,

So I'm still pretty embarrassed that I ran into my boss yesterday.  Not that it's awkward to run into my boss, but it was at that moment because I had ditched his work party.  I did not go because I decided to catch up on my laundry.  So to make the situation more awkward, I'm glad that I dropped my clean load of whites right in front of him. Nice!

See you soon,
Nori

Dear Awkwardness,

It was really interesting that you decided to show up to the institute bonfire last night. I would have appreciated it if I could have avoided catching my pants on fire. At least a group of people noticed and managed to put it out before doing too much damage. Thanks, it's good to know you are always there for me. I also appreciate the humor in everyone now thinking I'm a "liar, liar, pants on fire". I guess I'll take this as a hint to work on my honesty.

Until next time,

Rachel

Dear Awkwardness,

The next time I volunteer at a community event to promote the clinic that I am now associated at my new university, I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep prompting me to use the name of my previous university. Especially when there are professors around.

That is all,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

I haven't laughed that hard in months! Between you making me accidentally omit the word "interviews", and Elaine misreading the word "monk", I love that my initially-anonymous "something you don't know about me" submission read "I have had multiple with a naked Jain monkey". Wow! Talk about a good conversation-starter.

Your fan,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

Your timing is impeccable. Dropping that container of foam stickers all the way down the hallway of the MFT intern’s office when the professors were sitting in 279 having a serious meeting with both doors open was........ well, awkward. And I guess I can laugh at it now, instead of feeling like an insecure freak.

Thank you,
Lexie

Dear Awkwardness,

It's nice to know that I have you as a constant companion at the beginning of this semester as I try to explain to people how a piano performance major could be clever enough to break both her wrists at once. Also, I appreciated your humor the other day when one of my friends was trying to cheer me up by telling me that doing cartwheels would make me happy. The look on her face when she looked at my wrists five seconds later was priceless.

Your Old Pal,

Rachel

Dear Awkwardness,

Ha. No; whittling a baby carrot into a spoon does not make a a feasible alternative for a fork and its attempted use does not make me feel even relatively civilized. But nice try.

Your admirer,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

So while giving my talk today, I would've appreciated it if you had kept me on topic.  But no... you had to get me on a tangent on my love of Preach My Gospel and how you can apply it to my dating life.  So really it's your fault that I started explaining that you really can change Chapter 9 of Preach My Gospel on "How to find people to teach" to "How to find boys to date."  It probably would've been better if we had avoided all of that.

Take care,
Nori

Dear Awkwardness,

Are you sure that it socially acceptible to offer people feedback on the quality of their handshakes? It seemed to work today, but I still have my doubts.

Questioningly,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

Thanks for just reuniting me with the girl I randomly started talking to at the busstop yesterday. It was great hearing her explain how she knew me to her friend. For some reason, knowing that at least one person's first impression of me was as "creeper girl" is really satisfying. Also, I guess it is good to know that most people think its weird to start conversations with strangers.

Cheers,
Allison

Dear awkwardness,

So remember how today on the bus you told me that it would be a good idea to try to start a conversation with a stranger by asking her which deathly hallow she would choose if she could have only one? Good call. It was a hit. But convincing me to say that I'd want the resurrection stone so that I can call back dead people and do ethnographic interviews for research purposes...I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

Take the care,
Allison

Dear awkwardness,

Remember that time earlier today when you interfered with my phone conversation? What was that about? Not that I have anything against phone interviews, mind you. But that just isn’t the format I would cogently opt for when catching up with an old friend. Also, the way you got me to exclaim “I…AM…AWKWARD” while punctuating my descent down the stairs with three short jumps down the final steps afterwards…well, my roommate enjoyed overhearing that.

Best,
Allison

Dear awkwardness,

So we go way back. And mostly, I love you. But sometimes, your sense of humor makes me want to shrink up inside myself until I disappear. Mostly, we are friends and we can laugh together at your shennannigans. But sometimes I think you take advantage or me or aren’t respectful. Let’s work on maintaining our relationship, but let’s make it more functional. I’ll try to be more open in validating you and how fun you are, and I’ll also try to be more open about when something you do is hurtful.

Your friend,
Allison