Dear Awkwardness,

Okay...getting me to lock my keys in my car...haha.  Whatevs.  I have a spare.  But how the heck did you fool me into locking my keys in the car, with the car running...without me ever realizing it?  Well, I mean I did realize it eventually, namely, when I was ready to head home for the evening 7.5 hours later.  But still...seriously?!

Not amused,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

Generally I go with your suggestions to talk aloud to inanimate objects and small woodland creatures.  But the next time you tell me to greet the squirrels with "Oh hey squirrel" and "Oh hey other squirrel.  Nice jump.  Lookin' good", I'd really perfer to not have a distinguished faculty member walking right behind me. 

Later,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

It was pretty great that you gave me the opportunity to enjoy watching the Phineas and Ferb live show down at the US Airways Center with two of my best friends. It felt really cool to walk in as three 19-year-olds and be surrounded by a bunch of families consisting mostly of kids from the ages of 3-9. But hey, I'm not complaining. Like I said, it was really fun.

Gratefully,

Rachel

Dear Awkwardness,

Thanks for coming with me to the training meeting with my boss's boss and his boss and his boss.  I realize that as a teacher, I shouldn't have been there but thanks for prompting me to ask for an invite from my boss's boss's boss's boss since he wanted me to bring my district of Elders.  It would've worked out fine but no.  I showed up without half of my Elders who decided to turn back because they had forgotten something.  It was a great feeling to show up to a meeting with all of the top bosses at the MTC and tell them that I didn't know where all of my Elders were.

Always a pleasure,
Nori

Dear Awkwardness,

Thanks for joining me just before some friends and I took off from the volleyball game we spectated.  I'll just assume that you showed up when you did because you also wanted to meet the president of the university who was also in attendance.  You probably shook his hand along with the two people on either side of me.  In fact, you were probably the one who caused him to remain completely oblivious to my extended hand--the one that remained outreached over two other people and hung in the air directly in front of him for a few painful seconds before I finally slowly retracted it.  Thanks for giving my roommate a good laugh at least.

Peace out,
Allison

Dear Awkwardness,

Now that I think about it, I've run into you several times this week... Remember Monday morning at Albertson's? The girls and I were in the produce section, and you were waiting for us by the grapes. It was very cunning of you to choose grapes--the only fruit that, when Lizzie drops it, has about a hundred little pieces that roll every which way. But I have to thank you: I'm glad it wasn't, say, a watermelon that Lizzie dropped. After all, grapes can be cleaned up pretty discretely (without the need of a mop, at least).

Oh yeah, and then there was this afternoon at the mall by the Diving Lady display. You knew I wanted to read about it, so thanks for keeping an eye on Lizzie and asking that total stranger to tell me, "There she goes!" Yes, I'm an inattentive mother. And yes, I had to run pretty quickly to catch Lizzie before she got lost and/or destroyed a store display. Thanks for the reminder--and the exercise.

Regards,
Emily

Dear Awkwardness,

For more than a month now, I have been on the lookout for you. Finally, we had a choice meeting this week. I have to say, it was awesome running into you at Wal-Mart. Who knew that while I was checking out bathroom fixtures you would sneak up on me and... Surprise! But next time, instead of talking Lizzie into taking off her diaper and pants in a public place, you may want to consider that there are laws against exhibitionism. Just sayin'.

Till we meet again,
Emily

Dear Awkwardness,

I miss you.  I feel so boring lately.  Let's hang out soon.

Hoping you don't make me regret saying that,
Allison